Relations between American mothers-in-law and their son’s wives are frequently the topic of jokes and unfriendly stories. This is probably even more true in Japanese society, where a bride’s name not only changes to that of her husband, but her name is removed from the family record of birth. The bride literally changes families, and in so doing, becomes subservient to her new mother.
A Swedish tourist and I met at the upper citadel of Kochi Castle last week, and he taught me a new Japanese expression as we parted. He was planning to eat eggplant at a nearby food court, and wondered if I understood the expression, 秋のナス、お嫁に食わすな (Aki no Nasu, Oyome in Kuwasuna).
The direct English translation goes something like this: “Autumn eggplant, Don’t feed it to your daughter-in-law“. I had never heard the expression, so the Swede suggested I ask around about the meaning.
My wife, and everyone else I asked, gave the same explanation. Eggplant in the fall is so tasty, one wouldn’t want to waste it on a daughter-in-law.
Each time I heard this explanation, I objected that it was too demeaning to daughters-in-law. If one said “Autumn eggplant is so tasty, I wouldn’t waste it on my dog“, the expression would be more humane.
I encountered two responses when I sympathized with the daughters-in-law.
The first was, “Yes, in the past daughters-in-law might have been abused, but now we take good care of them.”.
Many young Japanese women are choosing to remain single, so this supportive attitude is a must, if a mother wants to ally with her son in attracting a bride and daughter-in-law.
The second response was a entirely different interpretation of the phrase. “Don’t feed autumn eggplant to your son’s wife because it causes her internal organs to cool, making it more difficult for her to get pregnant.”
This interpretation involves two assumptions commonly made by Japanese. Number one, “Certain foods cool the body.”. And number two, “If a woman’s innards chill, she is less likely to get pregnant.“. I have heard these assumptions for so many years, they no longer surprise me, even though I am NOT certain they are correct. I’ll take a neutral stance on the first count. But after a bit of reflection on the second, if a cold woman has more difficulty getting pregnant, the corollary must be that a hot woman is more likely to get pregnant. That sounds reasonable!
As I warned in the title of the blog, this insight into the Japanese and their language might be interesting, but its really not very useful!
Hither and Yon with Darrell Vaughan 